Chinese Zodiac
September 25, 2003 - 9:21 a.m.
I saw a frog a couple of weeks ago and thought of my mother.
My mother is not green or slimy or reptilian. Her eyes do not bug out, nor does she croak. I don�t know the last time I saw her leap, if ever.
My mother collects frogs. What started as a garden collection has grown, and now frogs have infiltrated her home (with some help from my brother and me). I recently added a tiny frog to my charm bracelet, in honor of Mom.
A couple of years ago, Mom learned that my brother�s wife (Jackie) likes pigs. Hence, her choice of husband? Sorry, I couldn�t resist. At the time, Jackie had one pig item. She now has about fifteen oinkers, mostly from Mom but with a little help from my brother and niece.
Now you would think a guy, a hockey playing guy, wouldn�t have one of these collections, right? That�s what Tim thought. Mom, however, had other plans. One of her favorite �let�s embarrass the offspring� stories is about the woman in line at the supermarket who asked toddler Tim what he wanted to be when he grew up. My dumbass brother�s response? A giraffe. I�m sorry, but that�s fucked up, even for a toddler. My brother, the giraffe wannabe. And now he can never live it down, because Mom has started giving him giraffes. Jackie thinks it�s the cutest story ever, and my niece Emma has become the beneficiary of several stuffed giraffes.
Me? Rabbits. Naked rabbits, au naturel, not cutesy, dressed up rabbits. Not that I have big ears or a cotton tail. My nose does not twitch incessantly, and my feet certainly would not make cute key chains. I don�t particularly care for carrots. I love Bugs Bunny. I think we all know he could kick Thumper�s ass any day of the week.
My accidental rabbit collection: One day, I noticed I had three rabbits and grouped them together on the middle shelf of the hutch in the dining room. So HGTV. Then I added a couple more. Then people noticed, especially Mom. That middle shelf now houses about thirty rabbits � porcelain, wood, marble, pewter, whatever. There are the obvious jokes about my �rabbit hutch� or how it started with only three rabbits, and they multiplied like, well, you know�
Emma recently got a hamster for her 9th birthday. She named her Marmalade. So, naturally (natural for my zoolike family anyway), I bought her a very cute stuffed hamster puppet. Emma likes cats and dogs, too, and thinks she wants to be a veterinarian, so she can take care of all the sick animals. Love.
Is my family guided by the Chinese zodiac? I checked on Chinese zodiac signs. Rabbit, pig, and dog are signs; frog, giraffe, hamster, and cat are not. So it�s just some genetic quirk? Well, it could be worse.
Last night, I saw a rabbit in my yard. I wonder if my family thinks of me when they see a rabbit.
Ya think?
Autumn
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