Get the Limes and Pass the Salt
February 03, 2006 - 12:53 p.m.
I received an email today from friend and Super Bowl party hostess Suzanne. It�s not a particularly outstanding email, just the usual fare, yet it seemed somewhat fitting for a Friday post. As for the Super Bowl, I don�t care who wins. I don�t think I can name a single player on either team. Lala is a hardcore Steelers fan (as are his brothers and as was their father), so good for him, I guess. Suzanne and Billy are having a party simply because the Super Bowl is well timed with the completion of their den bump-out and renovation. I�m going for the sake of going to a party and enjoying some good company. We will collectively ridicule everyone and everything that is televised. Oh, yeah, Suzanne and Billy have a big ass television, too.
Begin email message:
Subject: Natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself
Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila�.
Tequila� is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
Tequila� can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you�re ready and willing to do just about anything.
You will notice the benefits of Tequila� almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila�.
Tequila� may not be right for everyone.
Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila�. However, women who wouldn�t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
*Side effects may include: dizziness; nausea; vomiting; incarceration; erotic lustfulness; loss of motor control; loss of clothing; loss of money; loss of virginity; delusions of grandeur; table dancing; headache; dehydration; dry mouth; a desire to sing Karaoke and/or playing all-night rounds of Strip Poker and Truth Or Dare.
End email message.
Lastly,
Bumper Sticker of the Week: I LEAVE BITE MARKS
HAPPY WEEKEND!
Autumn
Trick or Treat - November 02, 2007
Autumn Has Left the Building - July 19, 2007
The Nail - June 04, 2007
Ungolding - June 01, 2007
Bollocks - May 29, 2007