Autumn and Suzanne Take a Trip Down Memory Lane
April 19, 2006 - 2:08 p.m.
I�ve mentioned before that my friend, Suzanne, should start her own blog. She is ever passionate, humorous, and energetic. Alas, she has not heeded my advice (at least not that I�m aware of), and so I�m taking some of her email comments and posting them here.
I received one of those emails from Jeannie that depicts items, fads, people from our youth. Not one to leave well enough alone, I had to add my own comments before forwarding same on to Suzanne and a couple of other folks. Suzanne, in turn, replied with her own comments.
(Sorry, I didn�t load the 40+ corresponding pictures. I�m not dedicating that much of my image space to this.)
Begin email.
YOU WERE A GIRL IN THE 70s / 80s IF�
1. You wore a rainbow shirt. The rainbow went across your chest and down one sleeve.
Autumn: Had the shirt! Junior high. Mine was extra fashionable because it had a drawstring bottom. My mother absolutely hated it.
Suzanne: Never had it � too dorky.
2. You made baby chocolate cakes in your Easy Bake Oven and washed them down with snow cones from your Snoopy Snow Cone Machine.
A: No to both.
S: Had the Easy Bake � LOVED IT! My parents wouldn�t go for the Sno-Cone machine. I was very depressed. Got it for my kids to relive all those sad times through them. They used it once. I tried to sell it at a garage sale but no go. Should have learned my lesson in the 70s.
3. You had that Fisher Price doctor�s kit with a stethoscope that actually worked.
A: Didn�t have this, either.
S: This is a big NO!
4. You owned a bicycle with a banana seat and a plastic basket with flowers on it.
A: Yes to both. Bike color: teal. Don�t forget those colored plastic tubes that you put over the wheel spokes. Cool shit.
S: OK, my bike was SO COOL! Yellow (THE color of the 70s) and YES, I had the basket. Oh, life was so good then! ha ha!
5. You learned to skate with actual skates (not roller blades) that had metal wheels.
A: Oh, yeah! Strap-ons! Good times scraping up my knees on the asphalt driveway.
S: Actually, I learned to skate with something not so cool. My generation was the beginning of the KEEP THE CHILDREN SAFE MOVEMENT and we started with goofy strap on skate-type things. Really dumb.
6. You thought Gopher from �The Love Boat� was cute! (Admit it!)
A: No way. We always made fun of the episode where Kristy McNichol had a crush on him and pretended she was French -- �Oooh, Goph�re!�
S: NEVER! Gopher was a geek ALWAYS!! I don�t know who in their right mind would find Gopher cute but I think at this moment you are probably NOT having sex! Gopher was GAY! And even in the 70s we knew that that did not mean Happy!
7. You had nightmares after watching �Fantasy Island.�
A: No, but it was freakier than �The Love Boat.�
S: Yes, Tattoo really freaked me out. Also, people did NOT have fun on that island. What was really freaky was that EVERYONE had fun or learned a really important lesson on Love Boat but everyone on Fantasy Island really regretted showing up there � or at least the few episodes I was allowed to watch imparted that to me. I NEVER begged to stay up to watch that show!
8. You had rubber boots for rainy days, and moon boots for snowy days.
A: No. Worse. When it rained, I had to wear rubbers � red ones. Faggy. I took them off as soon as I got out of Mom�s view.
S: Negative. I did have some super ugly red shoes. Gross!
9. You had either a �bowl cut� or a �pixie,� not to mention the �Dorothy Hamill wedge� because your mom was sick of doing your hair. People sometimes thought you were a boy.
A: Guilty on all charges. Don�t forget the shag.
S: Oh my God!!!!!! Yes, first grade, Mom got tired of the braiding � say hello to the shag! Then in the 3rd grade, �Oh, you will look so cute with a Dorothy Hamill!� Basically I am totally ugly all through grade school. No wonder I couldn�t get a part in the Music Man.
10. Your Hollie Hobbie sleeping bag was your most prized possession.
A: Never had a sleeping bag; always wanted one. (Why?) Had scads of Hollie Hobbie stuff, though. I still have my collector plates.
S: Got the prints. Still have them somewhere (my husband wants to ditch them � NEVER!) Actually, I haven�t seen them in some years. They were in my daughters� room years ago. OH MY GOD � WHERE ARE THEY?
11. You wore a poncho, gauchos, and knickers.
A: Yes, yes, and yes. I loved my purple plaid knickers (2nd grade).
S: Terrible time in my life. Yes to all. My mother handmade me a whole gaucho outfit � yellow vest, yellow gauchos and a really ugly red, green, blue and yellow short-sleeved shirt. Worst picture day of my life!
12. You begged Santa for the electronic game Simon.
A: Nope.
S: Didn�t ask for it but got it for Christmas. OK for the first 12 hours, then stuck it in my closet for the next five years.
13. You could spend hours playing Pong.
A: Had it. This was so special that it was a �shared� gift for Tim and me.
S: This is a no.
14. You had the Donnie and Marie dolls with those pink and purple satiny shredded outfits.
A: No way!!! I think I was in junior high when D&M had their show. However, I still have my Donny double album from way back in the day. Hey, Jeannie, you want it?
S: I hated Donnie and Marie. We were in the 5th grade and we made fun of these dorks! ha ha! Lame!
15. You spent hours in your backyard on your metal swing set with the trapeze. (The swing set tipped over at least once!)
A: Yeah. So safe, huh? The one in the picture sucks -- no slide. These wimps must have been afraid of the piece of aluminum that inevitably would tear away from the lower edge of the slide, curl up and get rusted, and rip your leg open every time you went down wearing shorts (or hot pants or bathing suit). Tetanus shot!
S: I had the jungle gym set-up. Wicked cool, loved it! My Dad climbed to the very top and stood on the top bars. I could never do that � too cool! Never had the swing set � they always came loose from the ground � really not safe, people!
16. You were really into ping pong and pogo sticks.
A: Had neither. I liked using Jenny�s pogo stick, though. Tip: Don�t try pogo-ing on the asphalt driveway when it�s 95 degrees. You will fuck up the driveway, and your friend�s dad won�t like it. Move it into the garage, please.
S: NADA. Wrong age group?
17. You had homemade ribbon barrettes in every imaginable color.
A: Oooh. I�ve never seen these before. Cute. How do you make them? (For Emma, not me, smartasses.)
S: OHMYGOD - I had these! I made these! We LOVED these! I had tons!
[Cool. Now I know who can show me how to make them.]
18. You had a pair of Doctor Scholl�s sandals (the ones with hard sole and the buckle).
A: Hell, yeah. How cool was it in 6th grade to wear shoes like the high school girls wore?
S: No, I wanted these but my mother wouldn�t let me have them.
19. You wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder really bad, you wore that Little House on the Prairie-inspired plaid, ruffle shirt with the high neck in at least one school picture, and you despised Nellie Olson!
A: I own all the books. The television series was weak.
S: I own all the books. The biggest disappointment in my life is that my daughters do not love Laura as I do. They think she is boring. I am crying now.
20. You wanted your first kiss to be at a roller rink. Your hairstyle was described as having �wings� or �feathers� and you kept it �pretty� with the comb you kept in your back pocket. You had to make sure that no boys would grab the comb out of your back pocket and skate away at the roller rink!
A: Okay, here�s the truth according to me: Roller rinks sucked. They took away all the ice rinks. The music sucked and the kids who went there were dorks. I never had winged or feathered hair -- only the disco sluts did that. But, I carried a comb in my back pocket until I started carrying a pocketbook -- one of those cute preppy ones with the wooden handles and the assorted button-on covers to match all your outfits.
[Exclusive to the Land of D: Kelly met her (now ex-) husband at a roller rink. I�m sworn to secrecy on that, so don�t tell anyone.]
S: Okay, loved roller rinks although I was always afraid of getting run over (once I went and got run over and then I fell and peed my pants � Take me home, Dad!). Had the comb in the back pocket. This is the same time that my grandfather found a comb on the side of the road that said �Renee� and he kept it in HIS back pocket. Skeeved me out so bad that I never had a comb in my back pocket again. I had the round hair in the front which is the result of many hours of curling iron work, which meant getting up at 5:30 instead of 6:00 to get on that 6:45 bus.
21. You know who Strawberry Shortcake is, as well as her friends, Blueberry Muffin and Huckleberry Pie.
A: Way after my time.
S: I thought SS sucked, just like Cabbage Patch Dolls did.
22. You carried a lunchbox to school, and it was metal, not plastic.
A: Yup, but certainly not Star Wars [the one in the picture].
S: You betcha. Peanuts, baby! Too cool!
23. You and your girlfriends would fight over which of the Dukes of Hazzard was your boyfriend.
A: Never saw the show. I was from the �Starsky & Hutch� generation.
S: My friends and I thought Dukes of Hazzard was totally stupid! And we were in the third grade! However, we did find S&H a good watch when we were allowed to stay up.
24. Every now and then, �It�s a Hard Knock Life� from the movie �Annie� will pop into your brain and you can�t stop singing it the whole day.
A: Come again?
S: I hated Annie and all she stood for. I like it now because my kids do. �Nuff said.
25. You had Star Wars action figures, too!
A: Oh, no, I didn�t. I saw the first movie when it came out, mostly because of the BIG fuss over it. Honestly, I was bored. I didn�t get the big stinkin� deal, and I have never seen any of the subsequent sequels or prequels. I�m just not a sci-fi chick.
S: I didn�t, but in the fifth grade I found the mother load of Stars Wars cards behind the kickball nets. Wowee! I had like five cards and then I found this HUGE stack. So cool. Of course, I kept them; didn�t turn them in to lost and found. Some kid�s parents were out a lot of moolah on that stack! Ha! (Did I say I was an evil child?)
26. It was a big event in your household each year when the �Wizard of Oz� would come on TV. Your mom would break out the popcorn and sleeping bags!
A: For us, it was dinner on tray tables at the edge of the living room -- heaven forbid we eat in a carpeted room!
S: Dinner, no, but we got to cuddle in the black leather recliner with our dad and EAT POPCORN in the LIVING ROOM!
[Your Dad cuddled? * sniff *]
27. You often asked your Magic 8-Ball the question, �Who will I marry � Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett, or Andy Gibb?�
A: Hahahahaha. Mr. and Mrs. Andy and Jeannie Gibb. Okay, I was junior high around this time, so they were totally gay. We laughed at the girls who did like them. I remember in 8th grade when Doreen Trahan (what a loser) went to Discount Department Store in Smalltown (how lame!) for a Leif Garrett album signing appearance. And she actually told people!!! Hahahahaha.
S: Not at all. I hated Andy Gibb and I was only in the 5th grade. I thought Shaun Cassidy sucked, too.
28. You completely wore out your Grease, Saturday Night Fever, and Fame soundtrack record albums.
A: Get real. I�ve never even seen �Grease� or SNF. �Fame� would have been a lot better without all the music and table dancing and shit. Heh.
S: Yes, that is true, loved all those, but how can you forget the infamous ABBA album with the helicopter on the cover? LOVED IT! I had all these and more! Elton John and Kiki Dee, anyone?
29. You tried to do lots of arts and crafts, like yarn and popsicle stick god�s eyes, decoupage, or those weird potholders made on a plastic loom.
A: Not sure about this stuff, but I did crewel embroidery.
S: Yes, I tried to do this shit, along with macram� and hook rugging � hated it!
30. You made Shrinky-Dinks and put iron-on kittens on your t-shirts!
A: I think these were after my time. Wicked shirt, though. I think Sid Vicious used to have one just like it. [Pink t-shirt with kittens in a basket iron-on]
S: Never did. Oh, well!
31. You used to tape songs off the radio by holding your portable tape player up to the speaker.
A: Tried it once. Need I say more?
S: I did it all the time. I had some totally sucky tapes. Long live 92 PRO FM!
32. You couldn�t wait to get the free animal poster that came when you ordered books from the Scholastic Book Club. Double score if it was a teddy bear dressed in clothing. And the posters always had permanent creases because they came folded!
A: No way! We never got posters with our books! What a rip-off!
S: We got posters. Why buy the books if you can�t get the goodies?! You should see what Scholastic Books offers now! I am always against the extras � my kids hate me! Mwaaaahaaa!
33. You learned everything you needed to know about the facts of life from Judy Blume books.
A: Strange, but bookworm that I was, I never read a single one.
S: Yes, this is so true. Those books changed my life. I realized I wasn�t alone. Other girls felt as crappy as I did.
34. You thought Olivia Newton John�s song �Physical� was about aerobics.
A: Um, no, this was post-high school, so I knew the video was done that way just to get airplay.
S: No, by that time I was in high school and, thanks anyway, I GOT IT (not actual sex but that the song was about that).
35. You wore friendship pins on your tennis shoes or shoelaces with heart or rainbow designs.
A: Friendship pins? New to me.
S: I had the shoelaces � a must and for a girl without tons of money. Shoelaces were do-able! More so than a closet full of Calvins!
36. You wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer.
A: Made fun of these folks, too. Want to see my moves?
S: Puh-leese! NO ONE EVER WANTED TO BE A SOLID GOLD DANCER!
37. You had a Big Wheel with a brake on the side, and a Sit-n-Spin.
A: My brother had a Big Wheel. Some oversized 12-year-old in the �hood tried to use it and broke it.
S: Had the Big Wheel; wanted the Sit-n-Spin.
38. How about drowning yourself in Love�s Baby Soft, the first �real� perfume you ever owned?
A: I preferred Love�s Lemon Fresh, or whatever that lemon-scented one was called. Pledge?
S: Yes, used Love�s Baby Soft � couldn�t get into school without passing the �smell� test!
39. You had subscriptions to Dynamite and Tiger Beat.
A: Oh, stop already. FYI - I�m too old for Ricky Schroeder and too young for the Monkees. [Shown on covers in pictures]
S: Do not know what these rags are. Never saw them.
40. You spent your allowance on Smurfs and stickers for your sticker album!
A: Yeah. I don�t think so.
S: Had neither. Give me some credit!
End email.
Bring back any memories?
Autumn
Trick or Treat - November 02, 2007
Autumn Has Left the Building - July 19, 2007
The Nail - June 04, 2007
Ungolding - June 01, 2007
Bollocks - May 29, 2007