Rhode Island Red
May 05, 2006 - 4:04 p.m.
Rep. Patrick Kennedy will enter rehab for addiction to prescription pain medication Friday evening after a highly publicized car crash near the Capitol.
Um, didn�t yesterday�s official statement mention �a prescribed amount� of medication? Pardon me for nitpicking, but a PRESCRIBED AMOUNT isn�t quite the same as an ADDICTION, is it?
Sure, if it�s prescribed by three or four physicians, none of whom know about the others and their prescriptions.
Nice try.
"I simply do not remember getting out of bed, being pulled over by the police, or being cited for three driving infractions," Kennedy said. "That's not how I want to live my life. And that's not how I want to represent the people of Rhode Island."
And that�s not how the people of Rhode Island want to be represented, loser. I moved away from Massachusetts and your father (Mom would vote, in vain, for anyone who bothered to run against Papa Ted) only to wind up with you. I guess you don�t remember the staggering and stuff, either:
The report by a U.S. Capitol Police officer said Kennedy drove his 1997 Ford Mustang convertible into a security barrier near the Capitol shortly before 3 a.m. Thursday, and that Kennedy had red, watery eyes, slurred speech and unsteady balance.
The report also said Kennedy was traveling at a high rate of speed, swerving onto the wrong side of the road, and driving without his lights on. Kennedy nearly struck a Capitol Police cruiser, the report said.
No lights? Space Cruising is awesome, huh? Way to go. Good driving. Drug run?
Cannon said the officers involved in the accident were instructed by an official "above the rank of patrolman" to take Kennedy home and no sobriety tests were conducted at the scene.
What the fuck?! No sobriety tests?! Funny, I thought those pesky little tests were supposed to be administered when someone driving like a maniac staggers out of his vehicle looking like he�s been partying for days on end with Cheech and Chong.
"I think he was given consideration in regards to his position and afforded the opportunity to be taken home," Cannon said.
Ya think?
Kennedy told the police he was late for a vote, but the final vote of the night had taken place some six hours earlier.
Kennedy has denied any favorable treatment.
Three a.m.? Late for a vote? Are there a lot of those middle of the night votes? And just how fast would one (even one on a �prescribed amount� of medication) need to drive to make up a six-hour delay? If Erratically Driven Car A were traveling at warp speed 6 times the speed of light�
Of course he denies any favorable treatment. Because he FORGOT everything that did/did not happen. ADMITTEDLY. I think that�s called a blackout, bud. You can double-check with your boozehound mother. Hey, maybe you two can share a room at rehab! Wouldn�t that be fun?
What next, Paddy? How about a ride to Chappaquiddick? (I�ve heard it�s a great way to �accidentally� lose someone.)
Happy Cinco de Mayo! (heh)
Autumn
Trick or Treat - November 02, 2007
Autumn Has Left the Building - July 19, 2007
The Nail - June 04, 2007
Ungolding - June 01, 2007
Bollocks - May 29, 2007