Friday Night Bowling
September 18, 2006 - 3:22 p.m.
Posting a week late, but here goes�
To Hell with Monday Night Football or Sunday Night Football! Fuck Fox Football! It�s the return of�
Friday Night Bowling!
Who will this year�s teammates be?
There was only one person who, if I were teamed with this season, would send me to the league administrator with the not so idle threat of �move me or I quit.� (No, not Lala.) Skank Thing. Well, yippee yahoo, upon entering the alley, I saw Lisa, who told me were teammates. Who else is on our team? Doug, Jim, and Pat. Cool! No Skank Thing. I like.
It seems that Lala is once again a no-show this season. Fine by me. I honestly didn�t miss him last year. Turkey.
I had to inform Captain Pat that I wouldn�t be there the following week (scrapbooking club commitment), or possibly the week after that (birthday!), and definitely not the 29th (Tool!!!). Well, what a great team we are: Lisa won�t be there on the 29th, Doug won�t be there the next two weeks (business travel and a weekend getaway for wife Dana�s birthday), and Pat might have to quit altogether because he may need shoulder surgery. Go team!
It will be a huge blow to our team if we lose Pat. He has the highest average in the league (140+), which is why we have lowest average Doug on the team (but he�s lots of fun). Jim isn�t much better, and Lisa and I are so-so. Team lineups are lowest to highest, so that makes me the THIRD BOWLER! Woo-hoo! After just two seasons as second bowler. Lisa laughed at my observation and noted with even more amazement that she was fourth, having previously been second. Our team average without Pat would drop by about 10 pins. So, yeah, if we lose Pat, we�re screwed. Sure, the handicaps would be sweet in our favor, but others would complain because the league is supposed to be set up to keep handicaps at a minimum.
It looks like there were a few guys who said they would join but didn�t show up, and some people who hadn�t signed up but wanted to join. So, teams may be switched around. I have a feeling Melinda (Mellons) may be our new captain if Pat goes out. Heh. I was wondering, on my way to the alley, what Melinda�s latest hooker-esque body adornment/embellishment would be. A clit ring perhaps? She�d be splayed out on the score table showing it to everyone. Hmmm, nothing new, as far as I could tell. Maybe she�s on a break following last year�s triple whammy: boobs, nose stud, ass antlers tattoo, all of which she showed off with the same pride as a new grandmother showing baby pictures.
Currently, Melinda is teamed with Skank Thing, but Skank Thing�s friend has changed his mind and decided to rejoin the league. Skank Thing always requests that they be teammates � it�s not supposed to work that way � but whatever Skank Thing wants�. But then, Lisa attended the captains� meeting over the summer with her husband, Captain Bill, and requested to be teamed with me. Awwww. (See? It�s sweet if it�s about me, and just plain wrong if it�s about Skank Thing. Because I make those rules.) Anyway, it would be too lopsided to have Melinda and Skank Thing�s friend on the same team because both have high averages.
Oh, and Skank Thing�s friend? Little Man. With a Little Man Complex. Seriously. This guy is shorter than I am (and I�m only 5�2�), and he has such a complex about it that he wears his urban cowboy boots YEAR ROUND. Who the fuck wears boots in the middle of summer?! Little Man, that�s who. Just trying to get an inch. And, like his LMC peers, he has a BIG MOUTH that he can�t keep shut for a single minute. Ugh.
Check it out: I nailed the dreaded 7-10 split. Okay, so it took both my remaining balls to do it, but still�. I wasn�t so lucky on my second 7-10 of the evening. Yeah, two in one night � suckage!
9/8�s scores: 106-108-87; Games won: 1 (by 1 pin)
Autumn
Trick or Treat - November 02, 2007
Autumn Has Left the Building - July 19, 2007
The Nail - June 04, 2007
Ungolding - June 01, 2007
Bollocks - May 29, 2007